Question:
There's a concept in poker called the "bad beat". Basically a badbeat is when you play the hand exactly the way you should, making althe best decisions and end up losing because of pure dumb bad luck(for you), or pure dumb good luck for someone else. A good examplewould be a game of no limit Texas Hold'em where you have a 5 and 6 ashole cards and the first three community cards used by everyone are 23 4 (different suits) giving you a straight. The last two communitycards are a 3 and a 6. You expect to win with your straight until youropponent reveals that her two cards are a 3 and a 6 giving her a fullhouse, 3s over 6s, beating your straight (happened to me in an onlinetournament this week and boy was I mad; fortunately it wasn't formoney, unfortunately it knocked me out of the tournament -- sorryventing). Most episodes in "The Amazing Race" end with a bad beat.

Tian and Jaree's decision to use the Fast Forward last week seems tohave been vindicated as they depart at 2:26 a.m., fifteen minutesahead of Millie and Chuck and Al and Jon. However all is not exactlysweetness and light in the Action Barbie Dream Car. The teams have togo to the Marseilles airport and fly to Amsterdam. Tian is drivingand Jaree is navigating despite Jaree's admission that she doesn'tknow how to read a map and Tian's demands for good directions. We arethen introduced to the running theme of the night as we cut tocomments from the ladies about what the race is doing to theirrelationship with each other. In this case Jaree is discovering justhow bossy Tian can be. Forget Flo and Zach, Tian is AR4's Ian butwithout a partner as supportive as Terri usually was.

Team Virginity and The Clowns leave at 2:41 a.m. with Monica andSheree following at 2:45 a.m., Reichen and Chip at 2:54 a.m., Dave andJeff at 2:57 a.m. and Kelly and Jon at 3:00 a.m. Steve and Dave,beneficiaries of the bad beat two weeks in a row are out at 4:19 a.m.As each team departs we are treated to a vignette of them talkingabout their relationship, and if I might be allowed to generalise thetwo heterosexual couples are the ones who seem to be most concernedabout what the race is doing to their relationships. Kelly is seeingthings about Jon that she worries might carry on when they getmarried, while Millie worries that Chuck doesn't listen to her. Inthe latter case it is a feeling that deepens as they go on.

For all of Tian's worries about finding the airport they get thereahead of all the other teams only to find that the Air France counterdoesn't open until 5 a.m. so they camp out on the floor forming yetanother line. When Team Infantile (Reichen and Chip) arrive they seethe line and immediately predict that there will be space for only twoteams, so the team that prides themselves on their "integrity" (theyyelled about it at Porte #4 last week) asks the Action Barbies to gettheir tickets as well. Tian says okay, but when Millie asks about itTian is non-committal. This is enough for Team Virginity, the Clownsin tow, to seek out other flight options. Sure enough, when the AirFrance counter opens there _are_ only two seats available and Tiandoesn't raise a hand to help Reichen and Chip. Kelly and Jon, whodidn't follow Millie, get the seats. leaving Reichen and Chip to seekout the others.

Millie and Chuck, and Al and Jon have headed for the British Airwayscounter, where they are soon joined by Reichen and Chip and Monica andSheree. BA has enough seats for all the teams who are there (meaningnot the ATCs or the Goat Boys). Surprisingly this yields a bit of anadvantage for the BA teams. There is no direct flight from Marseillesto Amsterdam so the Air France flights (Dave and Steve, and Dave andJeff grab a second Air France flight) go to Paris and teams have totransfer to a flight to Amsterdam. However the Air France flights aredomestic service and land at Orly airport while the flights toAmsterdam leave from Charles de Gaulle. Of course there's no trainbetween the two. Meanwhile the British Airways flight goes toHeathrow, where the flights to Amsterdam take off. There are toimpacts of this. First, the two teams who had the early flight toParis arrived in Amsterdam a mere _three minutes_ ahead of the teamswho left 25 minutes later for London. Second, the two teams who gotthe late flight to Paris were caught in a traffic jam and missed atight connection to Amsterdam and were left scrambling to recover.

The objective in Amsterdam is the famous Magere Burg Bridge in thecentre of Amsterdam. It is a small white lift bridge which isinstantly recognizable to anyone who has ever seen a traveldocumentary about the city. How do you get to the centre of the cityfrom Schipool Airport? The teams have only been given $9 for this legof the race, so most opt for the train. However Millie and Chuckdecide to take a cab, having learned that the train station is somedistance away from the bridge. The tactic pays off as they arrive atthe bridge seconds ahead of the Clowns, the Supremes, Team Infantileand Team Vapid who had taken the train (the Action Barbies also intendto take the train but get caught up at the Information Desk at theairport and miss the train with the other teams). At the bridge teamshave to navigate the canals of Amsterdam in a metal boat, that theyhave to drive themselves, to find the Scheepvaart Museum whichcommemorates the nation's considerable nautical history. They have amap. Usually the sort of bunching that happens at this sort ofsituation works to teams advantage as they tend to stick closetogether and for a time this is the case, with most teams followingMillie and Chuck. Unfortunately Team Virginity has no idea where theyare going and teams gradually fall away from them.

While the others head off with Millie and Chuck, Jon and Al head offin the other direction and are soon at the museum. There they arepresented with a Detour. The choice is 500 Kilograms or 15 feet.Teams who choose 500 Kilograms have to drive 30 miles to an outdoormarket, put on wooden shoes and, using a traditional wooden stretcherdevice, move _exactly_ 500 kilograms of cheese to a set of scales.Teams who chose 15 Feet had to drive 12 miles to a cattle farm (Philcalled it a ranch but that's a bit grand for Holland) and find theirclues in a 15 foot high pile of manure. Naturally the clowns pickedthe manure -- it would smell just like the circus after the elephantshad been through. The Clowns, being clowns, turned the search into aslapstick routine, hurling chunks of raw fertilizer at each otherwhile they hunted. Kelly and Jon, and Monica and Sheree, who alsochose 15 feet, were less in touch with the product. Reichen and Chip,who chose 500 Kilograms because it was cleaner soon discover howuncomfortable it was to walk in clogs and how much 500 kilograms ofcheese really is, much to the amusement of a group of tourists whowere watching, not to mention the professionals at the market who movefaster but didn't have to wear wooden shoes. Millie and Chuckeventually became thoroughly lost on the canals of the city that hasbeen called the Venice of the North and eventually decided to usetheir Fast Forward. Their task was to go to North Amsterdam and findthe Molen van Sloten windmill. There each team member would bestrapped to a different sail of the mill. When both were on, theoperator would let the mill go. After ten revolutions they would gettheir clue. For once Millie felt some trepidation but Chuck enjoyedthe "peace during that exacting time" that he found at the top of themill while Millie was being strapped in.

There was still drama on the water. Tian and Jaree didn't have anyoptions. They were thoroughly lost and Tian was putting the blame onJaree. Jaree, the woman who couldn't read a map to find their way tothe Marseilles Airport, was suddenly able to read a map when it cameto navigating the canals. Or so she said. The simmering animositybetween Tian and Jaree finally flared to near violence, as Tian rippedthe map from Jaree's hands and Jaree called Tian a dumbass.Meanwhile, having finally arrived at the bridge, there was a certaincontrast in attitudes between Steve and Dave (who took a cab) and Daveand Jeff (who took the train). The Goat Boys were driven, to thepoint where one actually supplemented the boat's motor with an oar.On the other hand the ATCs were relaxed and enjoying themselves. Itwas a stark contrast with Tian and Jaree as well. While the ATCs werehaving a nice day the Action Barbies were cold and miserable. Whilethe ATCs thought Amsterdam was a wonderful city, the Action Barbiessaid it sucked. Still Tian and Jaree must have had some desire to win.After navigating a course that finally brought them back to the bridgewhere they started, the Action Barbies finally found the Museum andheaded off to the manure pile, where Jaree wondered if it would be abad thing to throw manure at her team mate. When they arrived at theMuseum, Steve and Dave -- the last to arrive -- chose the 500kilograms on the grounds that they couldn't imagine that anyone elsewould go to the manure pile.

Once the teams had completed their Detour they were sent to thevillage of Monickendam, to find a statue called "The Smoker". Itwasn't a depiction of a man enjoying a pipe or a cigar though; theSmoker in question was hanging fish to be smoke cured. Returning tothe usual sequence of things the teams now had a Roadblock. Onemember of each team had to go onto one of the fishing boats and grablive eels by hand to be deposited in a designated container. Oncethat team member had transferred 25 eels the team would be givendirections to the Pit Stop. For most teams the trip to Monickendamwas a simple one, but Monica and Sheree had a crisis almost ...

Answer: Actually there is a train (RER C to Antony, RER B to CDG). It takes over anhour, but based on the performance of the taxi, this may have been one casewhere it made more sense. As a rule of thumb I'd say 7am all the way acrossa major city it's a good bet the train will beat the cab.

(As an example, this Monday I had an 8pm flight out of LaGuardia and at 6:50I was still puttering around, oddly enough given this forum, the CBSBroadcast Center. It was universally agreed that with the evening rush hourtraffic I'd miss the flight and would be lucky to catch the 9pm. I ran out,grabbed a cab, rode it above the 'N' line until traffic started to clog up,hopped down into the subway, rode it until I was past all the traffic andclose to the airport, then got off the train, down to the street, and caughta ride the rest of the way. Made it in time to sit around and read amagazine in the waiting room. And saved $15.) Magere BrUG where brug = bridge. Ultra-picky but Phil's (and everyoneelse's) massacring of the Dutch language is still stuck in my craw. Couldn'tthey have coached him for a few minutes? They always seem to be working hard and focusing and yet they're almostalways in the middle or end of the pack. Why is this? Stupid mistakesbalancing out their hard work? Or is the game a lot more luck than it'ssupposed to be? Surely the forces of the universe aren't conspiring againstthem based on their portrayed lack of personality.